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We Need to Talk About Sammy Sosa’s Face

Sammy Sosa (right) listens to attorney Jim Sharp during his testimony during a House-committee session investigating Major League Baseball’s effort to eradicate steroid use on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., on March 17, 2005 (Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

Former Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy Sosa did an interview recently, and I don’t think anyone heard a word he said because Sosa now looks like a chewed eraser. I don’t know what happened to him or who hurt Sosa, but the onetime Cubs great—minus the steroid-use allegations that followed him through the end of his career—has apparently allowed his self-hate to manifest all over his face.

Here’s a photo of Sosa and Sharon Osbourne taken in 2003:

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Here’s an image of Sosa during his facial transformation:

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Here’s a photo of Sosa shortly after the first phase of racial hatred:

Editor-in-Chief of DuJour Jason Binn, Sammy Sosa and David Arquette at Art Basel Miami Beach at the W Hotel South Beach in Miami on Dec. 3, 2014 (Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images)

And now, here he is looking like a weathered cow tongue:

I only ask that Black Jesus ignore me should this be a skin condition, but it appears that Sosa is suffering from the same disease that has afflicted Lil’ Kim.

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