GROUNDWORKS: Mission Critical
February is the month when love is packaged in heart-shaped boxes, framed in red roses and measured in candlelit dinners. It is a season built on the idea that love feels warm, safe and affirming.
But for many people, love does not arrive wrapped in satin ribbons. It can show up as control, fear, isolation or quiet desperation. And in those moments, the most important kind of love may come not from a partner or a friend, but from supporters working quietly behind the scenes to protect them.
These are the nonprofits that build escape plans, safeguard digital footprints, provide confidential housing and create systems that allow people to ask for help without being detected. They are the nonprofits that understand love, safety and survival are often intertwined.
Phillis Lewis, founder and CEO of Love Doesn’t Hurt, knows this reality well. Her organization supports survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, with a focus on LGBTQ+ individuals, who often face additional barriers to getting help.
Lewis’ message during this month focused on love is simple and direct.
“Love isn’t supposed to cost you your safety, your peace or who you are,” she said. “If it hurts, if you’re constantly shrinking, explaining or surviving instead of living, that matters. You’re not weak for staying and you’re not wrong for wanting to leave. You deserve love that feels safe, steady and affirming. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.”
That belief shapes everything about the organization, from its services to the very first thing a visitor sees on its website: a quick-exit button.
To someone outside the world of crisis services, that feature may seem minor. To someone in the midst of the crisis, it can be the difference between getting help and getting hurt.
“For a lot of survivors, someone may be watching their phone or computer. Just looking for help can put them at risk,” Lewis explained. “That quick-exit button isn’t just a feature. It’s a signal that we see them, we believe them and we’re thinking about their safety even before they say a word.”
Across Memphis and around the country, there are nonprofits built on similar principles of discretion and protection.
Some serve survivors of domestic violence. Others work with trafficking victims, runaway youth or people leaving abusive religious or family environments. What they share is a common mission to protect the people they serve physically, emotionally and digitally.
That often means designing services that are intentionally low-profile — no flashy signage, no public client lists and no social media posts showing faces. Sometimes it even means creating websites that look ordinary on the surface but contain hidden pathways to safety. The organizations operate with an awareness that if they are too visible, the people they serve may become more vulnerable.
One of the most striking realities of this work is that the crisis often starts long before someone reaches out.
“Survivors are navigating fear, surveillance, shame and exhaustion,” Lewis said. “They’re often trying to keep the peace, protect their kids, maintain housing or avoid escalation, all while questioning themselves.”
By the time someone contacts a nonprofit like Love Doesn’t Hurt, they have often been living in survival mode for months or even years. That is why these organizations design every step of the process with security in mind.
“We move at their pace. We believe them. We don’t force decisions or push timelines. We focus on practical safety like housing, transportation, food and documentation while also holding space emotionally,” Lewis stated. “Safety isn’t just physical. It’s being treated with dignity and respect from the start,” she added.
The broader lesson is this: Protection is one of the purest forms of service and one of the most complex.
It requires confidentiality protocols, trauma-informed staff, secure data practices and safe digital access. And to make all that possible, organizations need flexible funding streams and partnerships with the legal community and housing and health providers.
Organizations that protect vulnerable populations must build systems where clients feel safe enough to say, “I need help,” often for the first time. For LGBTQ+ survivors in particular, that trust can be life-saving.
“Many systems weren’t built with us in mind,” Lewis said. “Affirming care isn’t extra. It’s necessary. People deserve support that honors their identity, relationships and lived experiences without judgment.”
It is easy to think of domestic violence, immigration crises or identity-based discrimination as someone else’s issue but Lewis offers a reminder that resonates far beyond her organization.
“Violence doesn’t exist in isolation. It impacts families, workplaces, schools and communities. When survivors are supported, entire communities are stronger,” she added. “This isn’t a ‘them’ issue. It’s an “us” issue.”
In other words, the nonprofits that safeguard the most vulnerable people are also protecting the health and stability of the broader community. They are part of the unseen infrastructure that keeps families intact, children safe and futures possible.
This February, as we celebrate love in its most visible forms, it may also be worth honoring the discreet expressions of love happening every day in nonprofit offices, safe houses, legal clinics and on crisis hotlines. These organizations are offering dignity when it has been stripped away.
Sometimes, the most loving thing they can give is this simple message, Lewis said:
“You’re not crazy. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone, even if it feels that way right now. Help exists and there are people who genuinely want to walk alongside you when you’re ready.”
Need help? Contact Love Doesn’t Hurt at (901) 213-7661 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline, or 1-800-799-7233.
— Judith Black Moore is a nonprofit consultant and the founder of Taking Back the Future, a youth-focused nonprofit. With decades of leadership experience at nationally recognized nonprofit organizations, she brings a strategic lens to the issues that matter most in the nonprofit sector.
