Earlier this month Lil Nas X made headlines after an episode from HBO’s The Shop: Uninterrupted aired that showed the rapper being gaslit by comedian Kevin Hart when talking about his journey to revealing that he is gay. Now the rapper is coming forward to share another tricky coming out conversation he had to endure, specifically the one he had with his father.
According to his Billboard cover story, Nas X, 20 opened up about his coming out process while juggling the added stress of having a number one hit on the charts.
The ‘Old Town Road’ rapper, whose real name is Montero Lamar Hill, admits that sharing his sexual orientation with his own father was actually tougher than announcing it to the rest of the world.
When he made his public announcement on June 29th it came off incredibly nonchalant, because he chose to, “just like, rip the Band-Aid off.” But having to tell his dad earlier that same month turned out to be a lot more “nerve wrecking.”
“It’s something I never probably would have did if I was still living with my parents. I have that independence to do it, you know?” he explained, revealing he smoked a lot of marijuana to calm his nerves in the that limbo period before ‘Old Town Road‘ officially became a hit.
“I’m always thinking: What if I’m not promoting the song hard enough? What if this never goes for me?” he recalls of that time. “I was sick because of smoking, not sleeping because I’m always promoting my music. I was stressing so much more during that period because it was my first song to move at this height, this speed. One wrong step and it can all slip up.”
“I’m not as paranoid as I was before, but I’m still thinking if you miss too much you’re gone,” he says of life after stardom and coming out. “You step away from the public eye for too long, they don’t care no more. And whenever I do step away from the internet or the music too long, it’s like I have to slowly get back into myself to get back into the groove.”